I Lost Everything I Knew
Dramatic? I know. When compared to how my life may have been 8 years ago though, it is very much real. The flexibility of my lifestyle have changed; And my proximity to loved ones is different. Even when I look at older pictures of myself, I cannot even relate to that young, fearless, bright, and indestructible individual. But this is not permission for me to sulk in despair about what was or what is not.
This is a testament to the many bridges that burned, islands that broke apart, and monuments that fell, but my future is even more fortified. That's right, all of that destruction was actually to my advantage. It gave me a fresh landscape, and a clean slate to create a life from experience. Creating my life from where I stand now, and with all the tools I now have. That reality feels so refreshing. That possibility provides me with so much joy to keep on living. And that is the gift of the Good News.
The Good News
The Good News is, if you change your heart, and if you change your perspective, you will be a new creation. Mark Batterson compares this process to a factory reset on a phone: "reinitializes the core hardware components, and reboots your operating system. All the settings, applications, and data are wiped clean." The process results in you being new in time, and new in nature (If, Batterson, 2015).
When we hit rock bottom, the urge to free ourselves of the responsibility to "solve" our despair is overwhelming. It is likely we'll self-sabotage, self-mutilate, put ourselves in danger, and give up on ourselves to avoid this burden. We will lash out on others, jeopardize opportunities, and even hide from our loved ones in managing this disappointment. The Good News is there is always another reality available. You do not have to have the right answer. You do not have to control the outcome. You can just hand over your stress, your sadness, your fear, and choose peace. Choose the Prince of Peace. He is all- almighty, and he has overcome the world. Let him fight on your behalf.
Trouble in Relationships
Relationships are the talk of the century currently. Everyone desires to find the perfect partner for them, that makes life worth living, a stable permanent companion. Or how about people who feel lonelier than ever? Where there was once endless opportunities for connection and meet ups at random locations, now it seems like crowds are either lacking or overwhelming. Our friendships are more estranged and disgruntled. Some of us have experienced a serious purge of our most precious relationships; Some may have been long overdue, while others were unsuspecting.
In the beginning, experiencing this lost in sense of self in others, evoke feelings of grief. We grieve those people, our routines with them, who we were to them, and who they were to us. We grieve the energy, love, and loyalty that once existed in that relationship. The Good News is, after the sadness, anger, resentment, and then peace that comes with resting in reality, freedom emerges.
You will find that this loneliness doesn't go to waste. Now there is room for the proper attention, space, and self-respect, to strengthen the vessel that needed it most all along... You. Think about it: How long have you been running on empty, trying to share the love, care, and support to everyone that you so desperately hoped for? How many times have you gifted others with your presence, thoughtfulness, patience, wisdom, and empathy, but you fell short in being there for yourself? Do you procrastinate, quit easily on new challenges, over-commit, under-deliver, and doubt yourself? Do you agree to things you hate, do not feel comfortable doing, or cannot afford to do? Whether that is financially, emotionally, or mentally taxing.
Well, the gift of this shielding is you are finally able to decide your own process. You may not be in complete control of every outcome. Obviously, life is full of upsets, inconveniences, detours, and dead ends that we would never willingly choose. However, when we decide our process from this vantage point, we can have self-assurance that we are finally on course for the things WE HOPED FOR. It is not circumstantial, pressurized, or dictated. It is not suppressed, put-off, or compressed. It is finally just you and God, creating, collaborating, surrendering, trusting, counseling, and delivering. No outer validation is needed. So rejoice in your isolation! This too, is for your good.
Trouble with Identity
Above, I mentioned how our sense of self can rest in temporary connections. We build monuments of self-esteem, and personality off of how well we survived other people' preferences. We believed things about ourselves from other's praise and condemning. Not once contemplating whether these things have more to do with the people we were involved with, than ourselves. Well now, when you have the freedom to choose people, places, and things, that are suitable for you, you find, you do not have these same experiences that was once common. Now you are among your equals. Or at least a clean slate.
When you center what is well with your soul, with the preferences of The Word, you will find there is a better refined identity within you. One that progressively prefers equitable affairs, ethical choices, and pure aim toward purpose. An inner power.
Power is what propels us forward, especially when things look bad. Power is feeling KEPT when the outer experience seems to be failing.
Trouble with our Finances
Nothing gets your attention faster than lack. We all experience hard times. For some a hard time is no job or an unglamorous job. For others, hard times can be other forms of disappointment (rejections, loss, exclusion, criticism, embarrassment etc). Symptoms may include panic, depression, loss of hope, or cursing God.
Financial problems can take on two behaviors: someone taking this "fall from grace" as a personal attack or someone who has confidence while being "broke." The former may be someone who has never experienced lack, and may have always had the moral and financial support from loved ones. The Latter may be someone who never really knew abundance, but had experienced God's grace despite of their situation. The latter is built over time and in experience. The former needs to encounter favor that money or luxury can't buy.
A person who comes from humbled times but has Jesus, can pull from their distant memory to weather this storm; when their account hits below zero, if they are thinking clearly, they know they can keep going in peace because life goes on. Everything will work itself out because the one who is sovereign is in the midst.
The Clean Slate
Change is gradual. You are a new creation. Imagine your new beliefs, and make them your new decision. From now on, everyday you will make decisions that are in your best interest. Not what you are interested in, but that are in your best interest: What will make you feel safe? What will support your budget? What will save you from future resentment? What will teach the other person a lesson in boundaries? What dues are necessary toward your goals, and which subscriptions can wane to the wayside?
Think about how you can avoid putting your foot in your mouth. Does this person need these extra words, or can you be more concise? When you think of your presence, are you respected or ransom?
...create a life from experience
Signed, JasminesHistory
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